5. Go Float it Off
If you live in Ohio you better hope that your best buddy never goes Mr. Limpet on you. In this state, no matter what the circumstances, it is illegal to get a fish drunk. You can’t even explain that he had a really bad day and seriously needs that Tequila Sunrise. It doesn’t matter why you are trying to comfort your be-gilled friend, if you slip some of the hard stuff to a fish, you could find yourself in some seriously hot water.
4. It Was My Interpretation of Joseph
The next time that you are attending services in Alabama make sure that you leave your fake moustache at home. In that state it is strictly against the law for you to put on a fake moustache that makes people laugh while they are in church. Perhaps if no one thinks it is funny you will be in the clear, but you probably shouldn’t risk it.
3. There Was Lint on Her Sweater…I Swear!
We all have our own way of showing affection, but pay close attention to how you touch a lady in the South or you may find yourself dealing with some legal trouble. If you are visiting the fair commonwealth of Virginia and meet a lovely Southern belle you best be careful she doesn’t giggle when you kiss her hand lest you be accused of tickling her. In the Old Dominion tickling a woman is considered a criminal offense and could land you a stiff fine.
2. Fire Up the Ford, It’s the Great White!
Hunting takes on a whole new meaning when you are dealing with restrictions and special gaming seasons. The hunting laws in Tennessee might just have you giving up your survivalist ways in favor of a life of tofu and alfalfa sprouts, though. That is, of course, if you are fond of shooting game from a moving vehicle. In the Volunteer State you are strictly forbidden from shooting game from a moving vehicle. Unless, of course, your target is a whale. Whales are open game for clandestine attacks from moving vehicles. This is fortuitous considering the abundant oceanfront hunting grounds located in Tennessee.
1. Gluttony is Not for the Grieving
Massachusetts has seen its fair share of tragic events, what with the witch trials and Plymouth and all. This means that there have been plenty of wakes and funerals to get the process into correct legal form. If you are going to be attending a wake in Massachusetts in the role of a mourner make sure that you grab a snack on the way or swig down a protein shake before heading in. In this state it is completely against the law for a mourner to indulge in more than three sandwiches while attending a wake.