5. Tiny Backpacks
Some trends appear to come from nowhere while others have a very specific source. And tiny backpacks can be pinned down to the 1995-teen-girl classic movie “Clueless”. It rewrote Austen, launched Alicia Silverstone as a star and made trends of two things – tartan mini-skirt suits, and tiny backpacks. The first is just too bizarre and short-lived to make the list, but the second one was both durable and annoying. Has there ever been a less practical handbag than one which is both minuscule and out of reach? Clutch purses are annoying, space-wise but at least they are in your hand when you want anything. Want the one piece of make-up you’ve managed to squeeze into your backpack without breaking the zip? Tough, you can’t get it without taking the whole thing off and spoiling the look. And consider that this was also the era of the giant mobile phone, also a must-have accessory for any It-girl wannabe. How were you supposed to fit one of those in? A cruel trend indeed.
4. Shellsuits
Also known as windbreaker suits, these shiny pieces of leisurewear were briefly popular in the early 90s. A kind of mutation of a tracksuit, they were super lightweight, highly flammable and decorated in tasteless, 80s-inspired patterns. Still, they were all the rage for a few years having been inspired by the hip-hop movement in New York. In the UK they were quickly adapted by uncredible celebrities like Jimmy Saville (who has posthumously been exposed as a child abuser) and it was this image that eventually caused the shellsuit to fall out of favour. Let’s hope they never make the comeback they keep threatening to.
3. Platform Trainers
A late 90s phenomenon now, and one that managed to be both ugly and impractical. If there’s one type of footwear that should be relied upon to support your feet and ankles, it’s the sports shoe, right? (Known as a trainer in the UK). So, how would you make that supportive, well-engineered shoe a complete hazard? How about sticking a huge platform sole on the bottom of it? It was a look pioneered by the girl group The Spice Girls, putting their own “Girl Power” twist on everything they wore. Still, Emma Bunton (aka Baby Spice) probably regretted her choice of footwear when she fell off her platform trainers and broke her ankle while filming a show for Turkish TV. Not pretty shoes and the consequences aren’t pretty either…
2. Tie-dye
Now, this is a look which runs and runs, despite not having been mainstream since its birth in the 1960s. The idea is that you create psychedelic patterns on clothes, using fabric that’s been tied in strategic places with string. The actual idea isn’t that bad, but those who love tie-dye also tend to love color, which results in eye-hurting creations like the one above.
You’d be forgiven for thinking that this ultra-organic, hippy look had no place in high fashion and you’d be right. But designers can do whatever the heck they like, it seems, and as recently as 2012, tie-dye creations were stalking the catwalks of London Fashion Week, courtesy of designer Ashish. Is it some kind of throwback to a more innocent, happier age? Or is fashion really just running out of ideas, so they’re stealing from the guy who runs the vegan food tent at Glastonbury? Who knows…
1. Adult Onesies
Talking about throwbacks to a more innocent age, why not go all the way and just pretend you’re actually a baby still? I can only assume that’s the appeal of the adult onesie – a garment which has less in common with fashion than it does with the contents of a newborn’s closet. They are soft, made of cuddly fabric and cover you from head to toe. Perfect for quiet nights in on your own where no-one will ever see you, right? Maybe. But the worrying trend is for adults to wear these things outdoors in lieu of getting dressed. You may not believe it, but it’s true. I saw a woman in Peckham High St wearing one just the other day, in a tasteful leopard print, accessorized only with a belt. It’s a bizarre trend that shows no sign of stopping but hey, at least it’s a comfy one!