TV shows and films are great entertainment for all sorts of reasons, but one thing they seem to be particularly good at is creating rock bands. There are hundreds of fictional bands, from the barbershop of the Be-Sharps (The Simpsons) to the fascinating sounding top ten seen in A Clockwork Orange, featuring the intriguing sounding Goggly Gogol, as well as Heaven 17, who later inspired a real band. We’ve picked out some of the finest non-existent bands out there, with our Top 10 Fictional Rock Bands.
10. Sex Bob-Omb
From the 2010 film, and the comics before that, Sex Bob-Omb is the name of Scott Pilgrim’s band, featuring himself,a female drummer called Kim and Stephen Stills who is known as “The Talent”. They also have their own groupie, Young Neil and the Scott Pilgrim wiki describes them as “neither wildly popular nor terrible”. They were born out of an earlier band called Sonic and Knuckles, and once played with Envy Adams who went on to become a proper rock star in a band called The Clash at Demonhead.
As fake bands go, they’re a pretty convincing one, with the infighting and lameness that most people will remember from being in a teenage band themselves. Kim does a great line in banging her sticks together and shouting “One..Two…Three….Four!”
9. Wyld Stallyns
Another teenage band who are technically worse than Sex Bob-Omb but somehow seem to be the basis of an entire future civilization. Starring Ted Theodore Logan and Bill S Preston Esquire (also known as “Bill and Ted“) this rock band seems doomed to split up, until intervention comes in the unlikely form of time-traveler Rufus. Giving the boys a time machine, they gather a bunch of historical figures who help them pass their history course and save Ted from being sent to military school.
It’s a flimsy plot, the band are beyond terrible and yet the boys still rock out. Kind of. It seems unlikely but maybe one day, the music of the Wyld Stallyns really will bring universal peace.
8. Driveshaft
The music of Driveshaft, however, may bring peace but only because it’s mind-numbingly dull. A band that featured in surreal island-based TV show “Lost” as the bassist Charlie was on board flight Oceanic 815 as it crashed over the Pacific. Charlie turns out to be a heroin addict but really, that’s the most interesting thing about this band.
Flashbacks of them showed them playing turgid MOR song “You All Everybody” which somehow sent the crowds wild, but didn’t feature many lyrics apart from the title. You would have thought a show as full of words as “Lost” (and most of the words were pretty superfluous) would have writers that could put together a decent couple of lines for their fake band, but no. But they did come up with the idea of putting Charlie in black nail varnish – because he’s so edgy.
7. Dr Teeth and the Electric Mayhem
This band, on the other hand, rocked. Featuring the eponymous Dr Teeth, the glamorous hippy chick Janice, guitarist Floyd and saxophonist Zoot, they wowed the crowds at the Muppet Show for years. Described as show creator Jim Henson as “Rock act – far-out, elaborate weird equipment, big amps…” they encapsulated the psychedelic sound of the late 60s bands like The Doors and Pink Floyd (there may have been a subtle nod to the latter band in the guitarist’s name.)
Of course, the secret weapon of the Electric Mayhem band was their drummer, Animal. Based partly on Keith Moon, he had a style that was way-out and experimental. And also very, very loud. He was an amicable band member as long as no-one upset him or stopped him drumming, and a good person to have on your side as freaky-necked Beaker found out when heckling threatened to drown out his rendition of “Feelings” (Animal intervened with a bellow of “Quiet”). A legendary drummer for a legendary band.
6. Crucial Taunt
Another band that knows how to rock, Crucial Taunt appeared in “Wayne’s World”, fronted by Cassandra, aka “Baberaham Lincoln.” She captures the attention of Wayne and Garth immediately, but also that of sleazy TV executive Benjamin, who wants her for his own. But it all works out fine – in one of the three endings anyway.
Crucial Taunt are a heavy rock band, with strong female vocals and a mean cover of The Sweet‘s “Ballroom Blitz”. They deserve the six-album deal that they eventually land (again in one of many endings). Plus, Cassandra speaking Cantonese means that the world now knows the Cantonese word for “excellent” – “seng”.
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